US Taps Strategic Popcorn Reserves for Extended Bannon-Trump Flame-War

In response to a sudden shortage of popcorn at US supermarkets, the US Navy responded by releasing 10,000 tons of microwave popcorn from the strategic popcorn reserves in Indiana.

Popcorn consumption rose on January 2, on reports of a brewing feud between President Donald Trump and former Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon, as Bannon started a promotional tour for his upcoming book.  As more media outlets reported on the story, popular interest surged, and popcorn sales exploded by the 3rd, leaving supermarket shelves barren of unpopped bulk popcorn, microwave popcorn, and pre-popped corn.

Marcia Trinh, Communications Director of the National Corn Growers Association declined to comment on the surge in popcorn sales, saying only, “we always remain nonpartisan on flame-wars, but recommend that observers remain well hydrated, and get sufficient carbohydrates and fats to boost their reading comprehension during extended verbal combat.”

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders responded to the situation, saying, “these are all Deep State actors making a big deal about nothing, to distract us from the real work we’re doing here.”






Leave a Reply